American Idol, it changed my life

Tonight as I was watching the results version of AI, I was in good spirits. I was pretty sure that one of my personal bottom two was going home. And she did. I loved hearing the Clark Brothers, they are actually friends of my family, though I don't personally know them. They did sing at my brother's church on Sunday morning though. Same song they did on Idol. And I love me some Dolly! Love her, love her, love her. However, silicon and botox, not gravity, is what's holding her up.

Anyway, onto the life changing. The Idol Gives Back clip just killed me. I wept. Not sniffled, wept. Here I am, parked on my well fed keister, watching AI in my suburban paradise. I have plenty to eat (too much, really), a beautiful home, a healthy, beautiful child and another on the way. These children don't have blankets, much less homes. The little girl that was looking for her sister was about the same age as my daughter. I seriously freak out if I think about my child getting lost at the mall. I cannot fathom her living on the streets.

How, oh how, can this happen? How can we, as a country, spend billions and billions of dollars on the war that will not end and not help these babies. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not anti-war or pro-war, I am tired of war. I am tired of the fact that we have been at war my child's entire life. I am tired of children, babies really, living in street because no one can or will help them. Why can't we make a difference?

I can make a small difference, I can donate something to AI Gives Back (and I will), I can sponser a Compassion Child (which am I just about to do), and I can give to charities through my church (which I do). But, my one little thing is not going to save those children.

It's so overwhelming, so hopeless feeling. I want to do something, anything to make a difference. Everything feels so small. Mike and I have toyed with the idea of international adoption. But, then we feel guilty, because there are so many kids "in the system" here that need good homes. Then we feel guilty, because maybe it would affect our child if we brought a child with "baggage" or emotional problems into our home.

Oh, how to make a difference? I'm still pondering. One funny thing though. I called my little brother after AI and was talking about the episode. I told him how moved I was by the orphans and he said he was too. I said "It makes me just want to adopt one (meaning the one of the thousands of orphans)". He said "Jeez, Andrea, after all they've been through, shouldn't you adopt both of them (he meant the two sisters who had been reunited)". He is so literal, he always has been. I started laughing and said "No, you dummy, I mean I want to adopt one of the orphans, not one of the sisters". He said "Oh, that's good, it seemed cruel to separate them now". Maybe it's not so funny written out, but it was a nice comic relief from the sadness that has settled on me.